Friday, August 11, 2006
"Indecent" Researcher Caught Groping Men in Dark Stacks
August 10, 2006
Cairo, EGYPT- Cairo residents are outraged by international student and research assistant HS who has been accused of "indecently" groping 283 men ranging between the ages of 18 and 83 when they were trying to find books in the dimly lit stacks at the back of the American University library.
"She was hiding behind a cart of books, she jumped out at me and grabbed my...stuff with one hand and squeezed my upper arm with the other while mumbling something about macro-economic trends and hyper-inflation during wartime making clinique tonor expensive and then ran away" said Timothy Hegan, 28. Hegan was "vaguely excited" about the incident but his girlfriend Megan Wally, 29, was outraged and vowed to "hunt down that bitch".
HS has become something of an icon on the university campus and the library is full of men who want to be groped. Remarked Steve Smith, 46, "my wife left me last year and I have not had sex since, I might as well hang out in the stacks and hope that Hiba gets me".
Also teeming around the library are feminist advocacy groups with placards who hail Sameen as a pioneering hero for women everywhere, "she has subverted gender and I think she should be given a medal" said Leila Rahim, President of the Women Against Harassment and Catcalling Group (WAHC) and founder of www.whyihatemen.com. Rahim also dismissed rumors that HS is a "sexual terrorist" and only gropes men of Caucasian descent.
HS, who was last seen wearing a pink T-shirt that read "all the good ones are gay" was not available for comment.
August 10, 2006
Cairo, EGYPT- Cairo residents are outraged by international student and research assistant HS who has been accused of "indecently" groping 283 men ranging between the ages of 18 and 83 when they were trying to find books in the dimly lit stacks at the back of the American University library.
"She was hiding behind a cart of books, she jumped out at me and grabbed my...stuff with one hand and squeezed my upper arm with the other while mumbling something about macro-economic trends and hyper-inflation during wartime making clinique tonor expensive and then ran away" said Timothy Hegan, 28. Hegan was "vaguely excited" about the incident but his girlfriend Megan Wally, 29, was outraged and vowed to "hunt down that bitch".
HS has become something of an icon on the university campus and the library is full of men who want to be groped. Remarked Steve Smith, 46, "my wife left me last year and I have not had sex since, I might as well hang out in the stacks and hope that Hiba gets me".
Also teeming around the library are feminist advocacy groups with placards who hail Sameen as a pioneering hero for women everywhere, "she has subverted gender and I think she should be given a medal" said Leila Rahim, President of the Women Against Harassment and Catcalling Group (WAHC) and founder of www.whyihatemen.com. Rahim also dismissed rumors that HS is a "sexual terrorist" and only gropes men of Caucasian descent.
HS, who was last seen wearing a pink T-shirt that read "all the good ones are gay" was not available for comment.
# posted by zalima @ 3:21 AM 
Comments:
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i'm surprised HS has not corroborated the story yet. I'm sure she's secretly thrilled that people are talking about her. Now all we need is a picture of her (with (or without?) the pink t-shirt)to supplement the article!
# posted by 
: 7:03 AM
: 7:03 AM
oh my god zalima, this is brilliant! i think if all else fails, you should start a paki version of the onion. you would rock it SO hard.
J
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J
# posted by : 10:09 PM
: 10:09 PM << Home
