the shit has hit the fan

got two frantic phone calls this afternoon.

Phone call no. 1
theme: oil absorbing facial wipes
the jist of the conversation: a girl at office just gave me one of these wipes and i looked at the packaging carefully and they are by clean and clear and where can i get them from? they were not like regular wipes, they were more rubbery and sort of dry. but they got all the oil. i get oily by lunch so i really need to get something like that. oh you think i should get oil controlling face wash? hmmmmm okkkkay....but these wipes...they were so cool...


Phone call no. 2
theme: i have issues going down on my girlfriend
the jist of the conversation: she can do it to me so easily but when i tried to do it to her, i froze up, gagged...ive been preparing myself for this, i even went to www.askmen.com and looked up tips but i just couldnt....so we stopped...im so embarrassed...i just want to die...how could i gag?!

funny thing is, the first call was from a guy and the second from a girl...