the shit has hit the fan

on befriending boys

imagine a conversation between two friends about all the usual unsolvable issues of life and then the point where theres nothing left to say. then comes this conversation:

K says:
i know the appropriate motivational lecture to go here
so you can just say "insert motivational lecture here"

the wavering optimist says (6:39 PM):
hahaha thanks. the lecture is there in my head as well...but...
i feel like those shrinks who advise their patients but are SO caught up in their own unsolvable issues!

K says:
hahahaha
i think we are ALL Like that!!

the wavering optimist says:
totally!
man, we need positive energy! where do i get some from?

K says:
we need to find fresh, uncomplicated people with no problems of their own and burden them with our issues

the wavering optimist says:
yeah.. i think we should befriend guys. they don't mind listening to crazy girls but they're mostly uncomplicated themselves so the focus can be on you

K says:
no thank you
sigh

the wavering optimist says:
why not?
but why?
why? why?
but why no?

K says:
because when you do this, youll be friends with these guys and eventually one of four things will happen:
a) guy will fall for you
b) you will fall for guy
c) your significant other will be jealous of guy and this will create further issues
d) guys significant other will be jealous of you and this will create further issues

the wavering optimist says:
hmmm but if a and b happen won't that be perfect?

K says:
did i not mention that there are also distinct possibilities for a and b?
lets take A
1) guy falls for you but already has a girlfriend, issues ensue
2) guy falls for you but you dont fall for him, issues ensue
3) guy falls for you and you think well we are such good friends itll work out and get swept along and eventually realize its not working and youve ruined a perfectly good friendship
4) it works out and you live happily ever after
chances of 4) happening: 2%

the wavering optimist says:
hmph
fine then.

K says:
hahahaha

the wavering optimist says:
let's not meet anyone

K says:
im not helping am i?

yes, maybe i am being a touch too cynical...but you know i'm right don't you?